Throughout my life, I’ve been told that the formula for success was “hard work”.
See, I come from a background where hard work was celebrated as was the grind. Life, as explained to me by my parents and their parents (and I can only assume influenced by THEIR parents and so on), is a struggle. That we only deserve that which is achieved through sacrifice and angst and toil.
But what if there was a different way? What if life is only a struggle because we create it that way? What if we were able to create each day – each moment, in fact – from a different perspective?
Well, we can.
We all have the innate ability to create our own experiences in the way that we choose to frame them. An event can be “hard” or “frustrating” or “a struggle” OR it can be seen as a learning moment, one injected with hope, freedom, peace and good humor.
Here’s an example: A vendor and I got off on the wrong foot recently. I knew I wanted to “clean up” the relationship by having a conversation with them and was dreading the thought of our talk. It was going to be torturous. It was going to be painful. It was going to ruin my day.
So I pumped the brakes and asked myself, “How can I create this conversation from a place of peace? How can I make this call easy, fruitful, and even fun?”
So I started creating.
I began by identifying the unhelpful judgments I was putting on the call. That they were a pain, didn’t get it, never would. That they don’t listen and don’t have the expertise to even understand what we’re trying to do.
Then I dissolved those judgments by “forgiving” them and created new truths around each. I gave myself permission to see the vendor, and the call itself, from a completely different perspective and produced a new perspective from which I could frame the conversation. We are on the same team. We want the same outcomes. Everyone is doing their best.
And you know what? The call went splendidly and sparked a new phase of collaboration on the project.
Is negative thinking and seeing everything as a struggle ruling your life? If this sounds like you, we should talk. Get in touch with us here.
